The Chapter About Kindness

My sweet, dear babushka (grandma in Russian), taught me acts of kindness from a young age.

Growing up, my babushka was always working with kids. If she wasn't a kindergarten teacher, then she was a teacher at a youth orphanage, and when working became too much for her, she became a volunteer at the nearby orphanage. Together, her and my grandpa would visit the orphanage and do various projects with the kids. Babushka liked to work with plaster or clay, draw, or make things our of paper (dolls, origami, snowflakes, etc). Grandpa would do more outdoor activities such as making fishing poles and taking the kids fishing, going into nature, identifying birds, building things, and anything else outdoorsy.

Watching my grandparents show this kindness and compassion to kids who were not related to them in any capacity taught me a great deal about chessed acts or acts of kindness. However, after coming to America, there was another concept that was similar to chessed acts, but it came with speculations, expectations, and rewards. Volunteering.

Let me say that there is absolutely nothing wrong with volunteering and it is incredibly helpful, useful, and vital for many groups and organizations trying to do good deeds. However, do you ever notice that volunteering comes with an emotional trigger? If there was a flyer asking you to come volunteer Saturday at 10am to pass out food and had no additional context, would you go? Probably not. In America there is this need to feel connected to the volunteer project. To know who we are passing out the food to, and the organization, and how else they help, and whom, etc.

You'll hear the phrase, "Well, we need to know if the organization is legit," or, "It needs to align with my personal values and beliefs." All of this is completely acceptable. Our need to feel attached to the act of kindness we are participating in is human and valid. What's interesting to me is the discussion of humanity, acts of kindness, and how ultimately we are in control of what gets solved and what doesn't. We are in control of what get's saved, rescued, healed, and we are also in control of what falls apart, dies, goes extinct, etc.

This kindness that we speak of, it has levels. What about that one or several years when you were barely hanging on to your mental health and had zero capacity for anything or anyone else, do those years make you less kind today? Absolutely, not. We cannot make up kindness in the same way that we can't lose it. Doing 100 acts of kindness in one year does not erase the decade you spent in survival mode. Both are valid and deserve to be part of your journey and who you are.

My babushka would say that what matters the most is what you remember when you're older. When we are young, we talk about the future. When we've lived, and really lived, we talk about the past. How are you going to talk about your past? That's how we need to live when we have the capacity to live. We want to build a life full of experiences, ups, downs, neutrals. This is why Chessed Acts, or Acts of Kindness, are a central concept in Judaism encompassing acts of kindness, compassion, and love towards others. It is a divine attribute and a fundamental aspect of the Jewish faith.

The Hebrew word "Chessed" can also be translated as loving-kindness or mercy. In Jewish tradition, chessed is considered one of the pillars upon which the world stands. It is seen as a powerful force that can transform individuals and society as a whole. Engaging in acts of chessed not only benefits others but also allows us to connect with our truest selves.

In Judaism, chessed is listed alongside justice as a core value. In practice, chessed can manifest in various ways, such as acts of charity, visiting the sick, comforting mourners, providing meals for those in need, and helping others in any way possible. It involves going above and beyond what is required, extending oneself with genuine care and empathy.

The beauty of chessed lies not only in the impact it has on those receiving kindness but also in the transformation it brings to the giver. Engaging in acts of chessed helps us cultivate compassion, humility, and a deeper connection to others.

Strive to emulate this attribute to make the world a better place, one act of compassion at a time.